Hello, US of A.

Okay.

This has been a long time coming I suppose, but in any case it was still hard for me to do. I finally changed my blog title/address because surprise, suprise!! I am not in Kenya anymore.

Why is it so hard for us to let go of things in the past and move forward into change?

The inspiration for my new title is Luke 8:22-25:

One day he got into a boat with his disciples and he said to them, "Let us go across to the other side of the lake." So they put out, and while they were sailing he fell asleep. A windstorm swept down on the lake, and the boat was filling with water, and they were in danger. They went to him and woke him up, shouting, "Master, Master, we are perishing!" And he woke up and rebuked the wind and the raging waves; they ceased, and there was a calm. He said to them, "Where is your faith?" They were afraid and amazed, and said to one another, "Who then is this, that he commands even the winds and the water, and they obey him?"

I once heard a sermon on this passage that still remains lodged in the back of my mind. Why is it that the disciples ignore Jesus' question? Why do they instead choose to focus on the miracle of the moment?

I am tired of living in fear. I am tired of mourning all that I have lost in the past 7 months. Like these disciples, I have been blind to the questions God has placed in my heart because I so desperately want to hold onto everything that I experienced in Kenya. Broken, I stare at the pictures, wishing that I was back in Gatundu playing with Keith and Kathy. I am so caught up in the storm that even if there were a miracle, I would not notice it.

It is time to grow into the Rachel God is calling me to be.

Lord, protect the memories of our hearts so that when you call us to the other side, we may go eagerly with curiosity, hope and faith. Give us courage, and place in us the willingness to entrust our futures into your hands.

My time in Kenya changed my life. It is time to live out that change.